{"id":1587,"date":"2015-12-02T12:28:45","date_gmt":"2015-12-02T12:28:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/?p=1587"},"modified":"2019-03-08T10:03:41","modified_gmt":"2019-03-08T10:03:41","slug":"leaving-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/2015\/12\/02\/leaving-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving home"},"content":{"rendered":"

Throughout this piece of work I am going to be talking about my transition from care into independent living, what it was like for me and what could have been better.<\/p>\n

\"FlickrI left care just passed my 17th birthday. I was in a very settled placement and I was happy where I was staying. I had attended my last Children\u2019s Hearing the day before I was turning 17. At this meeting I had been told that I was not going to be moving any time soon and that I would stay at my placement on a voluntary order so when I was ready to leave care I could leave when I felt I was ready. Unfortunately I had a phone call and was told from my local authority that they were no longer going to fund my placement and I had to find myself accommodation just a week after my meeting. This was a huge stress and had a massive impact on my mental health.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t ready to leave my home where I was happy and felt safe with people whom I felt were part of my family.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When I had turned 16 most of my support networks had stopped due to my age. I was being supported from Who Cares? Scotland, Carevisions and the Leaving Care Team. I had built a strong relationship with my YPW (young person\u2019s worker) from Who Cares? Scotland over seven years – Mary was and is still an important person in my life who I still have contact with today.<\/p>\n

When I was told I was going to be moving out of Laraben, Mary and Laraben fought hard for me to be kept there and told them how I wasn\u2019t ready to move. I had no independent living skills and had no idea where to start. I was confused and became very angry at everyone. At first I was told I would be moving into a hostel because there was no evidence of me maintaining my own property. Everyone agreed that this wouldn\u2019t be in my best interest to move there.<\/p>\n

I had been taken by my key worker at Leaving Care to see one of the hostels and I was scared. It looked horrible and that wasn\u2019t where I could see myself living.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

At that time I was very vulnerable and I was easily lead. I had been told that the hostels were shared accommodation, had drug and alcohol abusers living in them, that I would struggle to get any sleep as the people who stayed there caused trouble and would have parties leading to the police being involved.<\/p>\n

Once I had been told that there was no going back to Laraben it was time to challenge the council and make them aware that if I was going to live in a hostel it would be setting me up to fail however my own tenancy would make me thrive in life. We had attended meeting after meeting, trying to evidence that I could manage my own tenancy and that the hostel wasn\u2019t the place for me. I heard back from my local authority and was told I was a band A priority and I could start the bidding process on a flat. Although this was great news that I wasn\u2019t being placed in a hostel, I wasn\u2019t made aware of the process that if I viewed a property and didn\u2019t want to move in, I would be placed into the homeless accommodation. One of the staff from Laraben had taken me to view a flat and I felt I had no other option but to take it and from there I had started the four week transition period into my flat.<\/p>\n

Once I had signed for the flat, everything became very hectic. Nobody knew what the plan was or how we were going to decorate the flat. I had no money saved at Laraben as it was very last minute and I had to wait two weeks on my leaving care grant so nothing could be done until the grant had come through. Once I had received the grant it was time to get everything organised. It was having a huge effect on my mental health. I started to tell staff to get out of the flat and that I didn\u2019t want them to come over.<\/p>\n

I tried my hardest to breakdown the strong and important relationships I had built over my time at Laraben.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I felt it would be easier for them to hate me than to care because it would have been easier for me and for staff. They fought for me. I was constantly phoned and messaged asking if they could come over and support me because they were worried. I was crumbling on the inside. I felt everything I had been promised was all a lie and I was alone. I couldn\u2019t open up to anyone and I started taking drugs and mixing in with the wrong crowd. Staff tried their hardest to put some sense into me because they knew it wasn\u2019t who I was. I was a strong-minded person and I was completely against drugs after watching my dad and what kind of person they had turned him into. I had seen the drugs destroy my family and our relationships.<\/p>\n

Staff could only support me for four weeks and when the time came for the support to stop, watching them drive away for that last time broke my heart. I knew there was no going back.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I feel like my transition could have been done differently. Everyone should have had a plan set out rather than everything being so unorganised. I felt I was rushed out of my home into a strange place that I had no clue about and had a reputation for antisocial behaviour.<\/p>\n

In my next piece of writing I am going to be talking about what my experience of aftercare was like and where I am today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Throughout this piece of work I am going to be talking about my transition from care into independent living, what it was like for me and what could have been better. I left care just passed my 17th birthday. I was in a very settled placement and I was happy where I was staying. I… Read More »Leaving home<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":1889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":""},"categories":[62,13466,5791,13507],"tags":[18465,2845,18464],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1587"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/84"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1587"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1587\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.iriss.org.uk\/relationships-matter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}